The Wait and … Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem is the eight-hundred-pound gorilla in the room, the reason so many of us go astray before discovering The Wait. God may love us, we know, but we don’t always love ourselves very much. 

So many of the problems that we bring upon ourselves, from addiction to remaining in damaging and even abusive relationships, stem from the deep-down belief that we can’t do better, don’t deserve better.

The Wait is more than practicing celibacy; it is acknowledging that you know who you are, what you deserve, and your worth. 

Here are some ways to address and confront low self-esteem with The Wait.


1.Instant Gratification 

The Wait comes into play here because rather than confront the reasons why we harbor such feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred, we often run from them by pursuing instant gratification.

Serial dating, casual sex, drinking, getting wrapped up in other people’s dramas—they’re often ways to avoid dealing with our own pain. 

But pain doesn’t just heal without attention. It waits beneath the surface and poisons everything in our lives.

Waiting can benefit you in many more ways than bringing you and your meant-to-be partner together. For example, during your wait have you:

•Experienced less drama and more stable friendships?•Dated some really interesting people?• Gotten to know yourself at a deeper level?•Let go of past emotional baggage?•Broken self-destructive behavior patterns?•Gotten physically fit and mentally healthier?•Advanced your career?•Pursued your dreams?•Become more deeply spiritual and drawn closer to God?


2. Avoiding Pain 

We are all people and we all have past hurt and pain. 

The solution is to reject the quick fix of a drink or a one nighter that temporarily dulls the pain. Face the reasons why you’re in pain. 

It’s hard and it’s something you shouldn’t do alone, but it’s definitely something you should do. There is life on the other side of trauma, self-loathing, and bitterness, and it can be amazing. 

The first step is being willing to stare down your pain and not look away. Do that and you can do the rest!


3. Your Partner’s Self-Esteem 

You don’t want to work on your self-esteem only to have a partner who hasn’t worked on theirs. 

It’s about way more than physical attraction when you meet someone. Yet, when you think of it as only physical attraction you will see (or have already seen) that attraction lies and spellbinds. Strong relationships aren’t built solely on physical or sexual attraction. They’re built on good judgment. How many times have you become caught up with someone based mostly on sexual attraction? How have those relationships ended?

We don’t have to ask if they’ve ended, because they don’t last. They can’t. Before too long, the hormonal haze clears and all that matters is character, integrity, intelligence, values, spirituality, and self-esteem. 

A person who doesn’t have enough of those to suit you is a person you can’t tolerate for long.

You want a partner who also knows their worth; they are most likely to recognize yours. 


Now that you have some insight on how The Wait can help with self-esteem, it’s time to take action! In the comments below, let me know how you’re going to address and confront low self-esteem and make a change TODAY! 


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